Hmm, that sounds a little dodgy… let me explain:
Untappd, for the uninitiated, is an app that allows users to catalogue their beers. Where they’re from; the style; where they’re consumed; what alcohol level they are (%ABV); the level of bitterness (IBU), etc.
It’s an important app for any beer lover – you really DO need to capture every single drop of amber goodness. And not just so you can catalogue for your own memory, but so you can earn badges and lord it over your mates – I totally get it!
He doesn’t even know I’ve taken these photos.
But I’ve noticed it’s starting to have an impact. I’ve come to the realisation that I am, in fact, an Untappd Wife. This is evidenced by the following observations.
- I’m not allowed to take a sip from my beer until it’s been photographed. It needs to be positioned in the light, and preferably in such a way that the light is harnessed to allow maximum gold to shine through. It could earn the low-hanging fruit (yet all-important, obviously), “Photogenic Brew” badge.
- When I can touch my beer, I need to help identify its sensory attributes. Is it rich and malty, or light and fruity? Is it bitter or smooth? Does it finish too quickly, or linger too long? And, certainly not one for the faint-hearted, what type of hops are being used?
- Once described, I lose all contact with Adam while he types his tasting notes and provides a rating. I may be asked to assist with the rating by answering how “true to style” and enjoyable the ale is.
Once rated and ranked, there is a critical moment of waiting to see if any badges are awarded. The outcome of these few moments can make or break a round of drinks. If no badges are awarded, this could have a detrimental effect on the rest of the social outing. I’ve learned I must quickly create a topic of conversation to distract from any such “failure”.
It’s ok, it really is just a few minutes of time. Each beer. Every round. I’ll manage. I guess I’m lucky I actually like beer.
I’m learning that a happy Untappd Husband means a happy… life. But I’m wondering if there are any other Untappd Wives out there…? We might need to start a support group.